I Gave Hinge a Month to Help Me Find a Boyfriend—Here’s What Happened

      Before finishing college, I would never have considered using dating apps. The idea felt completely alien to me. An endless cycle of swiping in search of attractive people, “matching” with total strangers, and engaging in conversations that could potentially lead to a date? No thanks. I had experienced success with dating during school, so I believed I could find a meaningful relationship without an app. Moreover, many people warned me about the cringe-worthy photos and pick-up lines that awaited someone like me.

      I admire those who use dating apps to seek casual encounters, but as a lifelong romantic, dating apps didn’t align with my vision of a love story. How could scrolling through an app compare to the possibility of a real-life serendipitous meeting? The rom-coms I watched as a teenager showed how effortlessly one could find their soulmate in a dim bar or a bustling street. However, recent studies reveal that 27 percent of engaged couples met on dating apps, indicating they have greater validity than I initially thought. One of my close friends met her boyfriend on Hinge, which only encouraged her to persuade me to give it a try.

      When I relocated to Chicago and noticed my limited social circle in a new city, I decided to create a Hinge profile. Maybe I could find a boyfriend just like she did? I resolved to spend a month on the app as a test, adopting the mindset of “don’t knock it until you try it.” Well, I matched with around a dozen people, and although I only went on one date, I surprisingly felt indifferent about the lack of options ahead of me. Instead, I emerged with a fresh outlook on dating and a bit of a reality check. Below, I share what transpired during my 30 days on Hinge and whether I plan to continue using the app.

      It eased my anxiety about dating

      I'm the kind of person who tends to spiral if a message or call goes unanswered—something that has hurt me in past relationships. While expecting regular communication from a long-term partner is different from a Hinge match I haven't yet met, it still isn’t the healthiest habit. I anticipated that using dating apps would heighten my anxious attachment style, but surprisingly, it had the opposite effect. Now, when I’m conversing with a guy and feel myself stressing over a lull in the dialogue, I’m able to remind myself that we’re still just acquaintances. I don’t owe him anything, and he doesn’t owe me anything either.

      This approach isn’t foolproof, but it has helped reduce the pressure I put on dating. Moreover, it compelled me to focus on the quality of their replies rather than their speed, something I hadn’t really considered before. More importantly, I now realize that looking for signs of compatibility, instead of just waiting for notifications to pop up, will lead to a better, less anxious experience in the long term.

      I became hooked on the swiping game

      I quickly discovered that I had a limited number of “likes” to give each day. Initially, I didn’t mind this, as the app suggests this limitation is to foster more genuine connections. However, as I swiped each day, I began to feel like I wasn't doing enough to put myself out there. This soon turned into a bit of an obsession. I found myself checking the app multiple times a day, even after exhausting my likes, just to see if any new profiles had appeared. In a moment of weakness, I even impulsively downloaded Tinder just to have fresh faces to browse… but that lasted less than 24 hours before I deleted my profile in shame.

      “I thought joining a dating app would make me feel pressure to find my next relationship quickly, but I actually enjoyed not taking it too seriously.”

      If you hear someone describe dating apps as addictive, they aren't exaggerating. You might start with a clear idea of what you seek in a partner, but it can quickly become very surface-level. As someone who prefers to get to know others as friends before embarking on a romantic relationship, I found mindless swiping unsatisfying. My brief obsession was a wake-up call. I stopped swiping left based solely on appearances or first impressions, and now, I’m more deliberate about what I seek in a potential partner.

      I became a ghosting hypocrite

      When I arranged to have coffee with one of my first Hinge matches, all the negative stereotypes I’d heard about dating apps vanished. How could dating be this easy when I had secured a date within just days? I would soon find out how wrong I was. I followed up with him the day before our meeting and received a vague “Let’s see how it goes,” followed by complete silence. Naturally, I was disappointed, but I quickly realized this is quite common.

      I experienced conversations that consisted of only a couple of texts back and forth before I heard nothing from them again. I also had matches who never initiated any conversation. The one date I did