I relocated to a completely new city—here's the one step I took to build a circle of friends.

      This might be a bit embarrassing to confess, but throughout my upbringing—up until my mid-20s—I didn’t really have a solid group of friends. While I had acquaintances, they were mostly sporadic connections made here and there. My weekends weren't filled with nights out with friends or brunches while recovering from hangovers. Instead, I spent time with friends one-on-one occasionally. After a rough relationship in my early 20s ended, I formed a core friend group (was it a coincidence?). What initially started as casual gatherings evolved into game nights, parties, and outings. During that time, I truly felt like I flourished. The only downside? It was all temporary. After spending a decade in LA, experiencing ups and downs, and finally finding my place and my people, everything came to a bittersweet conclusion—I moved away.

      After having sought a friend group connection for so long, I suddenly found myself in a situation where I didn’t know anyone. My husband and I made the decision to relocate to Portland to buy a house and embark on a new chapter, leaving behind the friends who had once filled our evenings and weekends. Although it was the right choice for us, I couldn’t shake the feeling of starting back at square one when it came to friendships. Determined not to squander more years in pursuit of connection, we jumped headfirst into establishing a community in our new city. Initially daunting, we leaned into one of our favorite pastimes, playing soccer, and joined a recreational soccer team within a month of moving. This proved to be the best decision we made after relocating.

      Why joining a recreational sports team helps you form new friendships:

      You connect with people who share common interests

      Making new friends is akin to platonic dating. You might encounter people through friends of friends, at new jobs, or while out and about. However, similar to swiping right on a random guy, there’s no guarantee you’ll share interests with those you meet. Joining a recreational sports team provides a foundational commonality for establishing connections. If you join a beginner league, everyone else is also trying something new alongside you. If you play a sport you've loved for years, it's likely that some teammates share your enthusiasm.

      Both my husband and I played soccer while growing up and joined a team with players of similar skill levels. Although we didn’t bond immediately, we enjoyed discovering our teammates’ backgrounds with the game—how long they had played, their positions growing up, and even lamenting how our 30-year-old bodies couldn't keep pace like they used to. Regardless of the sport you choose, there's a connection to it, and your teammates share that as well. This connection serves as an easy entry point for building friendships.

      It offers built-in topics for conversation

      My husband and I support Manchester United (if you're a Premier League soccer fan, feel free to send your condolences), and found ourselves on a team with fans of our biggest rivals. Before getting to know one another personally, most of our conversations revolved around playful banter. And when our teams faced off that weekend? The playful exchanges during warm-ups fostered a sense of camaraderie before we hit the field together.

      While the initial days might feel awkward, discussing the sport you're playing serves as a straightforward way to familiarize yourself with your teammates. You needn't struggle to find conversation starters since topics are readily available. You can discuss the latest happenings in professional soccer, reminisce about last week's game, or share your goals for the game or season (I've participated in several friendly competitions to see who can score the most goals). These conversations may seem trivial at first, but over time, they will cultivate camaraderie and facilitate deeper connections.

      "We’ve naturally become closer to some of our teammates, forming a friend group over time without putting too much pressure on it."

      You always know when you’ll see each other next

      A significant hurdle in developing friendships is finding time to meet up. We all lead busy lives. With work, errands, chores, and other commitments, arranging to hang out with new friends can easily slip through the cracks. However, with a sports team, there’s a consistent schedule for seeing one another—typically every week. As friendships strengthen, you might plan to socialize outside of games, but initially, you know you'll regularly engage with this group. While it may sound a bit game-like, the more time you spend together, the closer your relationships will become.

      Friendships have the opportunity to grow naturally over time

      This is where effort comes into play. I’ve been on several different teams through the years, and some individuals tend to remain on the outskirts. Whether they’re frequently late to games or miss practices and gatherings, they don’t quite integrate into the group. If your goal is to form friendships, gradually expand your activities with them. Perhaps you decide to grab drinks at the end of the season (we do this, and it’s always enjoyable!) or host occasional game or movie