“It Seems Like a Horror Film”: 20 Women Explain Their Reasons for Being Child-Free

      As a young girl, you receive baby dolls before you can even walk. Your role is clear: feed them, change them, play with them, love them, and weave their imaginary lives into your own. You become their mother, and they depend on you. This early experience nurtured the maternal instincts many of us have. However, not every girl embraced this role in the same way. Some wondered if there were alternative toys that didn’t demand so much from them. As they matured and resolved not to have children for various reasons, it became clear—perhaps motherhood was never suited for them.

      Among the many assumptions about women, one frustratingly inaccurate belief is that all women feel a calling to motherhood. Not everyone aspires to a picturesque life with a picket fence and twins. For those who desire children but cannot have them (or who have chosen to remain child-free), there’s a wish that society would stop implying that their experience as women is diminished because of this choice.

      We reached out to our readers to discuss their child-free status, and the answers ranged from uplifting to heartbreaking. What feels “as natural as breathing” for some is a source of sorrow for others. Ultimately, we learned that immense fulfillment exists outside of parenthood, the decision is personal, and it truly isn’t anyone’s business (not even ours!). Here are the reasons why 20 women have chosen to remain child-free.

      They’ve never had the urge to have children

      “I’ve always been aware that motherhood wasn’t for me,” shares Sara, 39, who mentioned that as a child, she never envisioned having kids. This sentiment was common in many responses—feeling “maternal” isn’t as widespread as one might assume. Sammie, 36, even humorously remarked, “I simply didn’t come equipped with the motherhood software.” For numerous women, the absence of children wasn’t a deliberate choice; it simply didn't align with their vision for life.

      For some, their lack of desire to have kids stemmed from external influences, such as childhood trauma, apprehensions about repeating generational patterns, and being thrust into caregiver roles. Frankie, 41, shared, “I was parentified early on due to my parents’ divorce and their addiction issues,” expressing that she feels she did her share of caring for her siblings and managing a home. Nicole, 30, echoed this, saying, “I honestly feel like I put in my time and now I need to retire.”

      Whether they feel no maternal instinct, inherited responsibilities they never asked for, or wish to avoid reliving their own childhood experiences through children, there's a notable absence of desire among some women.

      They fear the complications

      Pregnancy demands a lot from a woman’s body—and it can be intimidating. Molly, 30, describes it as “sounding like a horror movie,” noting that many of her fears extend beyond the temporary. Concerns such as postpartum hair loss, incontinence, diastasis recti, body changes, and potential mental health issues are all valid apprehensions. Additionally, childbirth can be daunting. “I grew up knowing my older brother died due to childbirth complications, and my mother almost died as well,” shares Chloe, 37, who already faces her own health challenges that could complicate a pregnancy.

      Lauren, 32, believes the risks outweigh any potential rewards. She highlights how maternal healthcare often isn’t a priority, noting “there are so few resources available for mothers and families.” With the political landscape worsening, “Getting pregnant feels just as terrifying as it did when I was 16,” she adds. For many women, the anxiety surrounding pregnancy and childbirth is quite real. Kassie, 33, succinctly states, “Creating an entire person from scratch is a huge responsibility that terrifies me.”

      Conceiving proved difficult or wouldn’t come easily

      It’s important to clarify this: Many women who choose to remain child-free genuinely wanted children. They longed for motherhood and were willing to make necessary sacrifices, yet the journey to conceive brought overwhelming physical, emotional, and financial strain. Taylor, 46, describes her child-free life as “part choice, part circumstance.” After experiencing an abortion at 21, a miscarriage at 32, and a challenging period at 37, she and her husband decided against pursuing fertility treatment.

      “Being a mother is something I’ve wanted my entire life, but due to my age and the cost of egg freezing, I don’t see that as a realistic possibility,” shares Tate, 34, explaining that her child-free status feels more like a decision made for her rather than a chosen path.

      Others recounted health diagnoses that could hinder conception, including fibroids and autoimmune diseases. Taken together, these factors make the prospect of trying to conceive daunting, especially if it could jeopardize their own or their baby’s well-being.

      The stress is overwhelming

      “I don’t want to raise children in an unfriendly world