This weekly practice rekindled the passion between my husband and me.

      The beginning of my relationship was characterized by an insatiable desire to be close to my partner. We would tear off each other's clothes at every opportunity, often engaging in sex multiple times a day. Back then, I naively thought this intensity would last forever and expressed that sentiment. However, after 12 years, I find myself reconsidering those words. Our sexual life is now quite irregular, and the only time we end up in a passionate frenzy is when one of us wears something too tight to remove alone.

      One downside of being in a stable and committed relationship is that intimacy can easily slip away. So, when I noticed that my husband and I had been neglecting our sex life, I suggested scheduling sex to address the issue. To my surprise, he agreed but with one stipulation: we would designate weekends for scheduled sex and surprise each other with sexual favors during the week, alternating roles each week. His reasoning? This approach would reintroduce spontaneity into our intimate life.

      Since we started this weekly ritual a month ago, the change has been noticeable. Surprising my husband with sexual favors—such as sensual massages, hand jobs, or oral sex—has reignited the passion in our marriage. We're both filled with desire, reminiscent of the early stages of our relationship. Adding spontaneity through unexpected sexual acts has rekindled the spark that we hadn't realized was absent from our bond. Therefore, I'm sharing how we did it, in case you too are looking to heat things up.

      **How We Incorporate Sexual Favors**

      Since the essence of these sexual favors is spontaneity, adopting a relaxed mindset was crucial for implementing this new routine. This approach allowed us to reestablish the sudden bursts of passion that our sex life had been lacking. More importantly, it gave the giver the room to adjust and be flexible as necessary. Some weeks, the giver might only manage a quick massage with kissing and cuddling on the couch. Other weeks might see a massage one night and oral sex another. It all depends on the week.

      Of course, incorporating sexual favors was not seamless from the get-go—far from it. My husband's first week was a bust due to illness, and both of us had to relearn how to be spontaneous with sex. Regardless of past experience, initiating intimacy can be challenging when you're out of practice. However, practice does improve your skills, and after a few weeks, we found our groove.

      **How Sexual Favors Revitalized Our Sex Life**

      1. **We Grew Hornier for Each Other**

      I'm sure I'm not alone in saying that the longer I go without sex, the less inclined I am to have it. While dry spells are normal in relationships, the saying “use it or lose it” rings true. Like many long-term couples, my husband and I often set aside sex when faced with challenges, which has taken a toll on my libido.

      I anticipated that these surprise sexual favors would spark my desire; however, I didn’t expect how much they would heighten our attraction to each other. I craved my husband's touch rather than just a simple release. This insatiability brought back the intense desire from our earlier days together. Over a decade later, we rediscovered that intense yearning.

      2. **Focusing on Pleasure Deepened Our Connection**

      When we agreed to exchange surprise sexual favors, we decided that focusing on pleasure was paramount. The intention was to ease the pressure of feeling compelled to engage in full intercourse. We’ve always valued small acts of service, and these favors essentially mirrored those gestures, resembling giving a back rub or cooking dinner after a long day.

      Doing something pleasurable “just because” reinforced the importance of supporting each other. Moreover, it prompted us to think more about one another, leading to greater availability both sexually and in general. We began to assist each other spontaneously and find ways to make one another’s lives easier. For instance, my husband started brewing coffee for me to enjoy before work, knowing how much I love his brew. In turn, I began making an effort to keep our home organized, as my tendency to leave things in disarray tends to stress him out. Ultimately, focusing on pleasure strengthened our bond and improved our marriage in and out of the bedroom.

      3. **Pleasing My Partner Made Me Feel More Attractive**

      I became sexually active during a period that suggested sex was not meant for women's enjoyment. Unsurprisingly, this led me to believe that my role was solely to please my partner. It took years of disappointing experiences for me to realize how mistaken I was, leading me to prioritize my own pleasure in every encounter. I am a strong advocate for closing the pleasure gap.

      Somewhere along the line, I began to associate unreciprocated sexual acts with losing my power as a woman. I didn't recognize this belief until my husband proposed our weekly ritual; my instinct was to refuse outright. I love my husband, but committing to a