The Giggly Squad has recently offered transformative tips for those who tend to please others.

      People-pleasing has one of the best images in the industry. Initially, it seems like a positive quality. After all, what’s wrong with ensuring the happiness of others? The term itself presents as a charming, harmless trait. However, those of us who are people-pleasers understand how exhausting and disheartening it can be. Often, it’s less about making others happy and more about diminishing ourselves and neglecting our own needs for the approval of others. Personally, I have spent years caught in this cycle. It’s challenging to avoid; everyone desires to be liked. But after listening to the latest episode of Amy Poehler’s podcast Good Hang, featuring Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo from Giggly Squad, I feel inspired to overcome my people-pleasing tendencies.

      Paige, Hannah, and Amy likely have more scrutiny on them than I do, yet the external pressures that led them to people-pleasing resonate with me. Paige talked about her reality TV experiences and her struggle to accept that not everyone will understand her viewpoint. In her 30s, she has made a deliberate effort to embrace the fact that there will always be people who don’t like her, and that’s perfectly fine. Even without an audience of Bravo fans scrutinizing my every action (and as a fan, I understand how intense they can be), I’ve faced my anxieties about being perceived.

      The thought that your actions or words might be misconstrued, and that the version of you in someone else’s mind can differ entirely from your true self, can be immensely stressful. However, as Paige emphasized in the podcast, the only opinion that truly matters is your own. Recognizing that some people may not like you is ultimately liberating, compared to the constant pressure to justify your actions or choices. “Not everyone is going to like you, not everyone is going to think you’re funny, not everyone is going to love your outfits, and that’s OK because you think you’re funny and you like what you’re wearing,” she stated during the episode.

      No one understands you as well as you understand yourself. Yet, we often dismiss our opinions first. If your best friend disregarded your thoughts despite knowing you well, you would likely feel hurt. So why do we continue to do this to ourselves repeatedly? Instead of seeking validation from strangers online (I recognize the irony in this as I take advice from three strangers on the internet, but you have to admit it’s valuable advice) or altering your goals based on a random comment from a cousin at a family gathering, turn your attention inward for affirmation.

      If you’ve clicked on this article, you're likely a fellow people-pleaser, so I won’t need to remind you that this is easier said than done. As Amy said, “Being misunderstood is painful.” We often prefer to contort ourselves to fit what others find acceptable rather than expressing what we truly want because it feels more manageable. This episode serves as a reminder that while it may be challenging at first to prioritize your own voice over others, in the long run, it’s worth the initial discomfort of listening to just one voice instead of countless ones.

      We cannot control others. Furthermore, most people form their opinions about situations more quickly than we can change them. Hannah wisely noted that those who wish to misunderstand you will do so, while those who want to comprehend you will. Recognizing this allows you to find peace with the desire for approval. As long as you feel assured about who you are, focus on shutting out the distractions. Amy concurred, stating, “What other people think of you is none of your business.”

      While I wouldn’t wish the internal turmoil brought on by people-pleasing on anyone, it’s comforting to know that these three empowered, successful women, who seem to have everything figured out, also struggle with standing up for themselves and trusting their instincts. Escaping the grasp of people-pleasing might be a daily struggle, but at least we have great company and relatable podcasts to accompany us on this journey.

      ABOUT THE AUTHOR

      Lauren Blue, Assistant Editor

      As an Assistant Editor for The Everygirl, Lauren creates and writes content for all aspects of our readers’ lives. Her articles cover topics ranging from must-read books, films, home tours, travel plans, and everything in between. When she’s not trying the latest TikTok trend, she enjoys exploring Goodreads for new releases to showcase on the site.